| Is once again craving for Inspiration |
[Apr. 11th, 2009|05:01 pm] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| |  contemplative | ] |
I'm actually itching to write. An essay, something, anything. I miss blogging, I miss going on and on about my sentiments, about trying to creatively piece words together like literature, and having differentwords spin round my mind, attempting to turn my usual-verbal thoughts into written ones. But they're mainly to pour over my emotions and thoughts. Been reading a friend's blog entries, mostly thought provoking. As it strikes back certain memories as well as uncertainty. I start pondering whether friends; those who come and go; those who will always remain as close as ever when you met back in high school. And those who turn out to be.. well, not really the kind you'd want to stick with once things turn sour. And those who actually end up being more important to you in your life than you expected. I am blissful, indeed. As I think about the people closest to me at this moment in my life, I could ask for more, but am contented.
Starting work in a day's time, or should I say resuming. I miss the feeling of adrenaline, rushing for deadlines, though some may claim I'm mad, as they are wishing for a longer break. Don't get me wrong, I do too, I'm just looking foward to getting my sleep regime back in order. Been sleeping at a weird 6am daily and getting up at late hours - almost 4pm. Am so tired of leading the nocturnal life. I sound like a freak but yes, thought I am a highly, functional typical teenager with such sleeping habits, I actually resent it. I understand every teen sleeps like this nowadays; I even used to say, "Sheesh mom, gimme a break. EVERYONE sleeps like this now. Who in the world actually HAS regular meals i.e. 3 meals a day and sleep by midnight?" But I am starting to worry about the impact on the health.
The best friends are all abroad, leaving me stuck in boring ol' Singapore. There's still a good 6 months to go before work at Edelman is done. Looking forward to learning much more skills than I'd expect to. And of course the adapting to the cold, harsh reality of coping in a media industry-related firm.
Have alot on my mind right now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2008|01:46 am] |
Last update 5 weeks ago. Hoho.
Should I cut my hair, bob? seeeeeeeeriously contemplating. Ale you better cut yours too! You're s'pposed to be OnZ with me. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 29th, 2008|07:45 pm] |
Climbing up a short flight of stairs without panting is now a challenge to me. Seriously. It's become a reality now. All those cursing and swearing at cellulite building up around the thighs have reach its epitome.
It's time to eat healthily. Pass me the organic salad and low-fat yoghurt please. :(
Thank heavens I don't have to climb that murderous flight of steps to reach school anymore. For now. For three weeks. Speakin of which, I'm SO mighty relieved that we're getting our well deserved break. Year 2 is mad, crazy hectic. Looking forward to hanging out with my boyfriend and favourite girls :) |
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| Agenda |
[May. 11th, 2008|03:09 pm] |
Main agenda: Graduate
1. Study hard and work for my own grades
2. Make new friends for commercial use. Seriously, no true friends found in here!
3. Get connections
4. Graduate and get my ass outta shit-school.
School's a bitch. |
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| Ominous predicament |
[Apr. 22nd, 2008|09:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| |  crappy | ] |
I know the title hardly makes any sense but I'm having.. this mixed feeling. First up, I love my new class. The people are just so friendly and they're the perfect kinda friends I'd totally click with. So I'm super looking forward to dwelving deeper into our new modules.
But there's this part of me; I don't know how to explain it - I did extremely badly in the previous semesters and I almost feel, scared. Afraid that I won't do well again / afraid that I'm just, not creative enough. Crap the list goes on. Not a really good thing. I feel pressured, a self urge to push myself to excel.
Then there's my Final Theory Test this coming Saturday, which I'm not quite prepared for. Basically I feel somewhat enthusiastic about the near future, yet I'm not so. I'm not making any sense.
Just needed to find an outlet. I can't seem to get to sleep - endless tossing and turning on the bed has ruffled up the sheets so badly.
I miss Kavanny so much. I'm outta here. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 15th, 2008|04:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | Tuning into |
| | 91.3 FM | ] |
I'm back from BKK! I'm already starting to miss the mad shopping sprees and the awesome buys.
Returned home with some 8 pairs of heels and piles of clothes.
Lol.
Using Shutterfly to upload my pictures. Will update the post again. So lazy and its taking forever. Thats 311 pictures. |
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| a very happy girl |
[Apr. 10th, 2008|01:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Tuning into |
| | 98.7 fm | ] |
Hello world. Had a wonderful wonderful time last night! Am not sure how to describe my exhileration right now or the excitement I felt last night, I just can't piece the words together, its like I was.. having my heart at my throat when I saw the cake that read "Happy 365th day Darie". I was so thrilled I wanted to scream and yell. lol.
I figured the dinner wasn't exactly something that Kavan would plan in normal circumstanes. Since most guys believe in : Value for Money. But Kavan did it anyway, knowing that I'd love it. I'm soooo.. HAPPY!
He brought me to Sky Dining.
Allow me to rant. Kavanny refused to tell me where we were goin, got me guessing throughout the entire bus ride. That guy, sleeve is full of tricks. I remember his silly coin tricks he used on clueless passersbys. Tee hee. And also the April fool's joke he played on me before we got together. When he's up to something, he goes all out. Alright, anyway when we got to Harbourfront I was merely expecting a boring ol' normal dinner at a random restaurant which serves good western food (based on all the hinting I gave him, about me liking fine dining).
Then we hopped onto the cable car and that's when my heart started to race. I was beaming from ear to ear. Still absolutely no clue on what he has gotten planned fer us. Well basically the sky dining experience was great, it wasn't exactly a fine dining thing which actually made it perfect, because time and again Kav's told me he's not much of a fan.. this casual, laid back dining suited the both of us perfectly. Plus, it was just the two of us, in the cable car cabin.
I remember bugging him about the Sg Flyer. Kavan's just so nice to me. I still feel wobbly and almost like my body's swerving to and fro from the countless circles on the cable car.
I woke up this morning still feeling extremely pleased. Last night was fanstatic, tomorrow's my flight for the Bangkok trip, Alfie's nicely snuggled up at my feet, nothing could possibly go wrong right now. I'm just so happy.
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| Ants in my pants |
[Apr. 8th, 2008|12:22 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| |  energetic | ] |
| [ | Tuning into |
| | Time After Time | ] |
I'm super excited. Will be leaving for BKK on Friday and I'm already packing. I am freaking out over things that I "forgot to bring", or might forget. When I realised half of my items can't be packed yet as I'd still be needing them tomorrow and so on, i.e. toothbrush.
And not forgetting the 9th April, which is a special day for my boyfriend and I. I'm preparing something for him but I'm absolutely nowhere near to 1/5 completed which explains why I'm feeling like I've got ants in my pants. Or does the saying go: I'm basically like an ant on a frying pan. Then again ants look like they're always scurrying about all the time.
I know I'm sounding like a klutz. I'm always messing up, I better get things right this time. Urgh. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2008|01:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| | pleased | ] |
| [ | Tuning into |
| | Teardrops on my Guitar | ] |
I feel blessed. Dad has managed to get tickets for me and the ol' friends Ale & Van to BKK.
Despite him helping out, I know that deep down he is feeling god awfully worried about my safety. After many debates and begging for years, this is the only time they've allowed for me to venture out alone, away from Singapore. But many times he offfered coming along for this Bangkok trip. I politely rejected their offer as I'd like to try making my own decisions and truly surviving on my for a couple of days.
And so they give consent. My dad kept glancing over at my the whole last night, with something at the throat of his mouth, words of caution just dying to escape. If not, he'd leisurely claim that Mum wants to come along. Obviously its him but he put words into my mum's mouth! How adorable. Okay, I barely speak to my Dad so he misunderstands me at times, I believe. How do I assure him that I'm no longer the adolescent child that he bore, throw me aside and I'd get along fine. I don't fall prey easily to those people my Dad has warned me about. I've developed this thing called brains, to think for myself and guts to perform them.
My boyfriend texted me sayin that he's slightly worried too. Still, I feel blessed knowin that the important men in my life care, so dearly for me.
Some other travel agencies I desperately contacted yesterday have got back to me today, informing that they've reserved and confirmed tickets for me now. But I have to reject them now. To think I was freaking out yesterday over the unavailable tickets.
:) |
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| sleepyhead |
[Mar. 24th, 2008|03:48 pm] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | Tuning into |
| | Teardrops on my Guitar | ] |
Its such a bore staying home with absolutely nothing to do except fer playing with the good ol' dog. But leaving the house would mean.. spending moolah. Besides, there's no place better than home. I'm contradicting myself.
Zzz . Sorry bout not updating. I wanna go to Bangkok for shopping! *hints to boyfriend* |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 28th, 2008|12:07 pm] |
I've never known myself to be a quitter. Are you the type to deal with the situation, or just escape, flee and run at top speed without looking back, hoping to rid yourself of the trouble. Was just reading a poem about The Quitter. Yes, instead of gritting our teeth when we're lost, sick of the game and scared like a child, we resort to crawling. To be precise, in certain situations it'd perhaps brew lies, secrets or just giving up once and for all.
But yeah, its easy to quit, escape and cry that you're beaten but that's a shame, because we're young, bright and and brave, we ought to fight till the end. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 21st, 2008|11:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Tuning into |
| | James Blunt | ] |
My super sweet boyfriend made me such an adorable gift for ( Read more... ) |
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| Men - the epitome of stupid |
[Feb. 21st, 2008|09:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | Tuning into |
| | break another | ] |
I simply simply don't get it. How can boys be so stupid. Pardon me for sounding sexist. I've heard a dozen cases; too many to keep track of - Of men cheating on their girlfriends, leaving the girls' fragile and naturally more emotional heart shattered, betrayed and beyond repair. The girl was a sweet, young thing - beautiful, and definitely loves her guy with all. She consistently showers her guy with kisses/hugs and makes sweet presents. And how he repays her is to toss it aside and never take a second glance. In the relationship, the men grow complacent, not lifting a finger to help their current relationship anymore. Of course, when the guy cheats, the trust has been breached. You promise her a wide, open sea, entrust her heart with your hands and in her eyes - you're the perfect guy for her. And yet, you go crush this tiny little heart by preying on another girl.
When the shattered girl starts to fight for her own rights, for what she deserves - to leave the jerk who turned her into an emotional wreck, the only pathetic thing that the guy is left to do - is to beg. Its when he realises he was completely foolish and has lost a treasure - just because he was selfish, he was greedy and wanted more than one woman. He starts to beg for forgiveness, and he wants his treasure back. Stupidity, the epitome. Witnessed. Here.
I know what they say about men; human nature, for that matter. We always want what we can't have. So those sluts strutting around in their micro short skirts and fake eyelashes and fake hair are what that turns you on, pumps the adrenaline; the whole, sensational thrill of chasing once again. You want what you can't have, right? Guys all speak the same - they like looking at such sluts but they wouldn't like to date one. Yeah, right. The grass is always greener on the other side ain't it. Well you can jolly well kiss my ass.
Back to the issue on men, I suddenly recall an old male acquaintance whining about his developing of zits. I mean c'mon, you're a GUY. Stop your complaining about your belated facial puberty experience, shut up and learn to stand up like a man. |
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| Post an Entry |
[Feb. 11th, 2008|09:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| | content | ] |
| [ | Tuning into |
| | Ice Box - Omarion | ] |
It is strange - I used to resent being at home. I used to dislike coming home to seeing my parents and I wish and wish they'd go overseas, the driving range or work, anything. You know, the nagging, the countless endless interrogation, chain of questions and I simply couldn't wait to get out of the house during most of my teenage days. My big sister used to be the same; never at home and having different boyfriends. My brother started saying 'I was following Jiejie's footsteps'. My sis and I used to bitch together about our parents and I'd often find myself saying, "Now I understand what you said about Mum".
But today, I was heading home after a test in school. I was dreading going home to an empty house. I expected my parents to be busy at work, brother at army and be greeted by nothing but a dusty, empty dining table and perhaps the mad dog howling for attention. I wished for more time with my parents. I wished for my sister and brother to back home again. I miss my sister so much after she's married out. Ironically I remember announcing that I was counting down to the day she got married so I could have the whole room to myself. Our family is still close - just not so because the kids are all grown up now.
I unlocked the door and I heard the familiar voice of Mum standing in the living room with her pink polo tee, asking me if I minded sharing my lunch with Dad. They assumed I wouldn't be home, based on the creditibility of my sleeping over at the boyfriend's place, late nights and basically I've established the 1%-chance-of-Kellyn-being-home result. And so, they haven't bought lunch for me. Still, Dad was nice to share his with me. AWWW. I was happy to see the big brother home, complaining about the weird tasting rice. But I knew that this warmth wasn't going to last the whole day. Mum and Dad have taken the day off and were dressed up for golf and my brother was booking into camp.
At that point, I wished time would stop so I could have more time with the family. We all have our delinquent days, do we?
***
People have been asking me they should get the PSP, or the DS Lite. Both the PSP and DS were gifts by the generous and sweet boyfriend.
The amount of people badgering me for tips on how to download games, torrents, where to buy the DS Lite, what is R4 is amazing. That includes my dental clinic's nurse hurriedly jotting my number, in case she had more questions; and asking me a series of questions while in the midst of me getting my braces tightened and having to answer with my mouth half open. I was confused and baffled between which gadget was better - I thought about it and decided that both gadgets are just as awesome.
However I personally prefer the DS, it allows cute girly games like Cooking Mama (my favourite) and Super Mario Bros. which is damn fun! But that's just cos' I like girly sweet things. Which I believe every girl does too. But if you're looking for something multi purpose - mp3 + mp4 + games, then obviously the PSP would be a better choice. The DS only allows games and nothing else. Whereas with the PSP, you can download Gossip Girl or some Heroes/Bleach anime torrents and easily convert the format to be watched via the PSP.
I rely on my phone for tunes on bus rides, so I guess I do go for multi purpose as well. But since I already have my trusty Sony Ericsson phone I wouldn't see much use for the PSP since most of the games are boy-ish, soccer and whatever one-on-one fighting kungfu in an arena which my typically boy-ish boyfriend adores. But if I'm not mistaken the most recent PSP slim comes in baby pink (which is rather girly) and has some adorable games like Spongebob and several cartoons like Rataouille and more. I hold onto my DS, and my boyfriend uses his PSP. Girls, I hope I've answered your question. |
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| So we change. |
[Jan. 28th, 2008|10:32 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | relationships | ] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Tuning into |
| | Pink - You and Your Hand | ] |
I've always said I'm a cynic when it comes to relationships and I think I still feel the same way. A slight litle bit of that perception has changed, for the better, I guess.
In a relationship, holding onto each others' hands we go through many things as a couple and we learn from each other. We grow up, and learn to appreciate the little things and he/she does for you, and appreciate his/her existance all in all. We walk together on the path and after long enough, we tell ourselves this is it - its times to advance somewhere further.
That's the happy side of the relationship of course. Not implying that my relationship has an awful, dubious ugly side. It used to, I must admit. A last and final incident eventually strengthened us and perhaps some people out there might be calling me a fool, something inside me lurks deep.
Like I was saying, most people learn from experiences. After countless arguments some people improve for the better and mature; but some just never do change or realise the mistakes made because they're just too stubborn or have been applying the wrong approach. They just resort to yelling or physical abuse - finally when they get tired they sleep over it and the next day/weeks/months appear happy together. but that's just a facade. Its just simply because they don't dare to tell each other everything now. They're afraid either party gets angry/upset or we end up arguing.
Yes, a change is good. We look at it positively. At the initial point. We change and we change - for better or worse; it's all for our loved ones. But when you change to the extremes, you might end up changing to be someone who you're not anymore. Then that means you are not the same person who your other half met on the first day. You're no longer the person your lover fell in love with at the start. Doesn't that mean the couple aren't made for each other to begin with? I did mention before that I believed in perfecting each other to be the better half. I still do agree to that but I don't mean the extremes. When you meet your boyfriend at the start, he is someone completely different from you but you know what they say: Opposites Attract. But how long can these opposites last? We all know we prefer, click better, and last longer with someone of similiar interests.
When he/she changes beyond extremes and there's a lack of real communication, it just ends up with a one-sided thing, with either party suffering on the inside. Finally when he/she reaches the limit, he explodes and gives up, saying that he tolerate it any further. If not, he lands himself in some self-inflicted suffering and abuse. If they are meant to be together then she has to accept him entirely for the way he is. Perhaps when one party has too much to change, it just means they aren't meant for each other from the start. Somebody else more similar will appreciate him/her so much more for who he is, more than his current girl/boyfriend who just insists on changing him/her. And then they part, slowly walking away with a memory engraved deep. But we learn, from this we realise what we want in a man |
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| But what if |
[Jan. 28th, 2008|03:12 pm] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| | cynical | ] |
| [ | Tuning into |
| | Stop & Stare - One Republic | ] |
But what if it slaps us in the face one day, to enter the realistic world. We want to make plans, we think far and aim high.
But we're young. Is it wrong then, to have to realise early, is it wrong then, to want to place one's foot down firmly on the ground and make strong decisions.
I am young, much too young and dependent. Made very wrong decisions before and its too late to regret. I've stepped out of it and walking on the right path now for a year. Not doing fairly well due to the lack of competence. I complain about work, I complain about getting up early, I complain endlessly and fail to commit to the hectic nature of excelling.
This town is cold and its time to make a move, shake off the rust. Got my heart set and I'm counting up the years. When you stop to think, you realise there's many things out in the world that you haven't seen nor reached. Sometimes there are barriers in life which will you pull you slower and your progress is staggered.
Being in a rather stable relationship now and recent movies I've been watching make me think more than I normally do; about the future though there's a long path to go. The rules of commitment; am I ready? The working world; am I ready for it? Do I really feel positive about where we're heading. Things are better left unsaid, most people can't take the truth. Though I highly disagree that ignorance is bliss.
So what's gonna happen next. I need a place to rest my head. |
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| Well well well |
[Jan. 28th, 2008|02:17 pm] |
| [ | Every inch of me feels |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | Tuning into |
| | 98.7 FM :) | ] |
Time for a change in space I guess. Still trying to grasp the very much different system of LiveJournal. I just figured out how to upload my own background. Awesome. Girls who are now accustomed to using LJ, do teach me. Is it possible to have the webpage without ads and sidebars? And I'm really wonderin how do ya add a link which links to the full entry with pictures and all.
Anyhow,
Used this space once for rants and pointless dissing. Left it alone for a long time when someone accidentally stumbles upon it. Hence making me check back. Reading back on them makes me laugh - oh so silly. All I can say is, most people learn from experience. We all meet a turning point at some time in our lives and sometimes, the actions we do and the type of people we mix with turns us into someone else. Its our choice, it all is.
So very lazy to post any entries now either because I simply don't see the point of noting down every little thing I do daily such as the number of glasses of water I drank or perhaps just because my life is pretty mundane now.
P.S. Here's some redundant information: I love hugging my dog's warm furry little tiny body. As he's innocently prancing around.. I'd grab him from behind and squeeze him, when he runs around he would clumsily collide me; it seems almost purposely. ;)
What do you mean you already knew that? |
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